{"componentChunkName":"component---src-templates-docs-js","path":"/thestrugglebus/a_greatestchallenge","result":{"data":{"mdx":{"fields":{"id":"96ae30ef-7ef5-5636-8d16-bd85d23220a5","title":"Greatest Challenge","slug":"/thestrugglebus/a_greatestchallenge"},"body":"var _excluded = [\"components\"];\n\nfunction _extends() { _extends = Object.assign || function (target) { for (var i = 1; i < arguments.length; i++) { var source = arguments[i]; for (var key in source) { if (Object.prototype.hasOwnProperty.call(source, key)) { target[key] = source[key]; } } } return target; }; return _extends.apply(this, arguments); }\n\nfunction _objectWithoutProperties(source, excluded) { if (source == null) return {}; var target = _objectWithoutPropertiesLoose(source, excluded); var key, i; if (Object.getOwnPropertySymbols) { var sourceSymbolKeys = Object.getOwnPropertySymbols(source); for (i = 0; i < sourceSymbolKeys.length; i++) { key = sourceSymbolKeys[i]; if (excluded.indexOf(key) >= 0) continue; if (!Object.prototype.propertyIsEnumerable.call(source, key)) continue; target[key] = source[key]; } } return target; }\n\nfunction _objectWithoutPropertiesLoose(source, excluded) { if (source == null) return {}; var target = {}; var sourceKeys = Object.keys(source); var key, i; for (i = 0; i < sourceKeys.length; i++) { key = sourceKeys[i]; if (excluded.indexOf(key) >= 0) continue; target[key] = source[key]; } return target; }\n\n/* @jsxRuntime classic */\n\n/* @jsx mdx */\nvar _frontmatter = {\n  \"title\": \"Greatest Challenge\",\n  \"metaTitle\": \"Falling asleep is tough.\",\n  \"metaDescription\": \"This is the meta description\"\n};\nvar layoutProps = {\n  _frontmatter: _frontmatter\n};\nvar MDXLayout = \"wrapper\";\nreturn function MDXContent(_ref) {\n  var components = _ref.components,\n      props = _objectWithoutProperties(_ref, _excluded);\n\n  return mdx(MDXLayout, _extends({}, layoutProps, props, {\n    components: components,\n    mdxType: \"MDXLayout\"\n  }), mdx(\"p\", null, \"There have been many long-running tasks that I have performed over my the entirety of my life. Many of which occurred\\nduring my ultramarathon. They range from: \", mdx(GatsbyLink, {\n    to: \"../../accomplishments/a_thecommunicator\",\n    mdxType: \"GatsbyLink\"\n  }, \"learning how to communicate well\"), \"\\nto \", mdx(GatsbyLink, {\n    to: \"../../accomplishments/b_machinelearning\",\n    mdxType: \"GatsbyLink\"\n  }, \"re-learning mathematics\"), \", or even my journey as high performing athlete.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"One task stands above them all as the most difficult to perform. It comes in the shape of breaking an existing habit. As\\nyou might have already been able to tell, I have \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"very\"), \" strongly set routines by habit.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"If you had asked me what my hardest challenge was 7 years ago, I might have answered, giving up \", mdx(\"a\", {\n    parentName: \"p\",\n    \"href\": \"https://reddit.com.\"\n  }, \"https://reddit.com.\"), \"\\nReddit was engraved into my daily life, such that it would need to be checked at any moment of downtime. There was a\\nneed for constant stimulation and Reddit solved that for me. However, I did not like being put in a head-space that\\nneeded to be constantly stimulated by interesting things. This made quitting cold turkey seem like a good choice. I soon\\nrealized the only reason I browsed the internet was to visit that site. Meaning there was an empty pit that Reddit left\\nbehind. There has not been one specific replacement for Reddit. Somehow my life went on and I found better things to\\nwork on. Breaking the muscle memory of constantly checking to see if people said interesting things was really tough.\\nNot as tough as the thing that I struggled the most to accomplish.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, mdx(\"strong\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"Getting enough sleep\"), \" is my current hardest challenge I have yet to overcome. The years of trying to become Alex 2.0\\nrequired me to adopt: a new mindset, outlook on life, and various other habits. This turned me into a tightly wound\\nmachine that was capable of accomplishing many great things. Unfortunately, this also leads to problems of not being\\nable to wind down.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Driving myself into the ground is the easiest part of my day. Even after countless reflections, I still do not know\\nwhere my endless internal drive forward is sourced. I would fill my days to the brim with character building activities\\nand very few moments to relax. Then at the end of the day I would wonder, \\\"why I am having such a hard time getting\\nenough sleep?\\\"\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Well, I eventually figured out what my problem was and it only took me up until the time of writing this to figure it\\nout (and I am still working at it).\"), mdx(\"h1\", null, \"How it started\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"In the very beginning of my athletic journey, I strove to be good at road cycling. The biggest problem about road\\ncycling, is that you have to share the road with fast moving instant death machines. To prolong my life, the safest\\nworkaround for this was to perform the activity in the early hours of the morning. The idea was: it is hard to get hit\\nby a car if everybody else still sleeping. This worked out well for the most part, traffic was almost non-existent,\\nhowever it was also dark. This meant that I had to be tricked out in lighting gear in order to see and to be seen.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Another big problem about riding the dark is when autumn and winter roll around. I learned early on that most weather\\nconditions were not going to stop me from getting a ride in. If it was raining, then I got soaked. When the temperature\\ndropped below freezing, then more cold weather gear got put on. Unsurprisingly, the sun keep things warm and when it is\\nnot up it gets \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"really\"), \" cold. It gets to a level of cold where I need to wrap my feet (that already have two socks) in\\naluminum foil to avoid loosing heat during the ride. The only thing that would bring a halt to cycling would be\\nsnow/ice or fog. Though you may not know it, fog is terrible. It shows up around my part of America around mid-autumn.\\nWhere the ground is still warm from yesterday, but the air is significantly cooler. Visibility is essentially\\nnon-existent (\\nhave you tried driving in fog at night?), plus everything gets wet. At the time, I had a rim-braking bike, the rims\\ngetting wet and would cause my stopping distance to drastically increase. Pair that with not being able to see further\\nthan it takes to stop an you got a recipe for not being able to react to anything ahead. Plus, I wear glasses so that makes it even\\nworse. Anytime anybody says that the Fall or Winter is their favorite season, automatically tells me they like staying\\nwarm indoors or there hobbies winter based. \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"The cold season can spare me the pleasure of its company.\"), \" \", mdx(\"inlineCode\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"/rant\")), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Anyway, the point that I am trying to get at is that I had to wake up early in order to ride safely. Waking up at 04:30\\nand heading out the door and hitting the roads by 05:00. This habit of rising early would continue even after my\\nathletic goals changed. My normal routine now is, wake up at 04:00, start working on my free-time project,\\nstop at 06:00. Get myself around and be done doing physical exercise around 7:30. After that, it would be off to work from 08:00 to\\n16:00. After completing work for the day, there was time to eat, meditate, and walk before 17:00.\\nFrom 17:00 to 19:00 I would then continue my other free-time project. Once 19:00 rolls around, I needed to prep my meals for the next\\nday, shower, eat, and then try to get to sleep.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"That was my routine for the longest time, and began to wonder why I was having such a hard time getting to sleep. I\\nwould look at my schedule, and see there is an entire hour to wind down, so why am I having issues getting to sleep?\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"This evolved to the point, where finding sleep on the weekends was difficult as well. The entire time I knew that there\\nwas a large underlying problem, but did not do anything about it. I was being neglectful and getting 6-7 hours worth of\\nsleep a night.\"), mdx(\"h1\", null, \"Lying to myself\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"You and I both know this fact very well, \\\"Sleep is important.\\\" We both might know this fact, but I did not \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"understand\"), \"\\nthe significance of it. Voluntary comatose is crucial for peak performance. Even after reading these all these books on\\nhuman performance:\"), mdx(\"details\", null, mdx(\"summary\", null, \"Performance Books (click to open)\"), mdx(\"ul\", null, mdx(\"li\", {\n    parentName: \"ul\"\n  }, mdx(\"a\", {\n    parentName: \"li\",\n    \"href\": \"https://www.audible.com/pd/Peak-Audiobook/B01F4A9EFW\"\n  }, \"Peak\")), mdx(\"li\", {\n    parentName: \"ul\"\n  }, mdx(\"a\", {\n    parentName: \"li\",\n    \"href\": \"https://www.audible.com/pd/Peak-Performance-Audiobook/B071ZSYCXB\"\n  }, \"Peak Performance\")), mdx(\"li\", {\n    parentName: \"ul\"\n  }, mdx(\"a\", {\n    parentName: \"li\",\n    \"href\": \"https://www.audible.com/pd/Why-We-Sleep-Audiobook/B0752ZQR33\"\n  }, \"Why We Sleep\")), mdx(\"li\", {\n    parentName: \"ul\"\n  }, mdx(\"a\", {\n    parentName: \"li\",\n    \"href\": \"https://www.audible.com/pd/Deep-Work-Audiobook/B0189PX1RQ\"\n  }, \"Deep Work\")))), mdx(\"p\", null, \"I knew the significance of what having a good night of sleep gives you, however I did not understand that this\\n\", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"also\"), \" applied to me as well. I possessed many habits that exacerbated my sleep deprivation and was doing nothing about\\nit.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"The lie that I told myself was, \\\"I am strong-willed, therefore I have habits. Because my habits are hurting me, I can\\nchange my habits.\\\" It was not until reaching a really tough point in my life, that the previous statement turned out to\\n\", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"be a lie\"), \".\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Over the years of my self-improvement journey, there was one goal to be held sacred, \\\"Though shalt not lie to thyself.\\\"\\nLying is only good in attempts to impress/persuade others and it \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"does not\"), \" help get one stronger. Just because you\\nmight be impressed does not change the fact that I am not capable of doing it.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"The one of prevalent places where this come into play is: athleticism. You can lie to yourself about being capable, but\\nthat does not make you stronger. Sure, I also could throw around a heavy weight and pretend like I am strong. However,\\nthat just makes me prone to injury and leaves me with the feeling of a hollow victory. What is the point of doing\\nsomething just to impress other people? I am the one that has to live with myself at the end of the day. I am the one\\nthat has to give my life meaning, I have to fight my battles. Just because other people think that I am cool, does not\\nsolve my problems. Sure it might help, but in the end, I am the one that has to put up with my hardships. Yes, others\\ncan support me, but I am the one that has to pull myself out of the hole.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Overtime, I have learned that my actions taken when I feel the worst defines the limits of what I am capable of\\naccomplishing in the future. I cannot achieve self actualization by building it up on false accomplishments. Lies do not\\nhelp when you feel like crap and want to give up. What I am trying to get as is, I do not want to lie to myself.\"), mdx(\"h1\", null, \"Breaking the Habits\"), mdx(\"h3\", null, \"Getting to Sleep on Time\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"What I had been telling myself previously was a lie, though it was slightly mis-worded. Most of the correct words where\\npresent, just put in the wrong order. Instead of, \\\"I am strong-willed, therefore I have habits, and because my habits\\nare hurting me, I can change my habits.\\\" What it actually was \\\"I am strong-willed, because I have habits. My current\\nhabits are hurting me, I can use my habits to change myself.\\\" This was realized only after I went through a spout of an\\nexistential crisis. A time when nothing really mattered, and there was no real point in doing anything. I felt hollow,\\nand nothing I did would make the feeling go away. My current life philosophy, is that there is no point in life, so that\\nmeans there is no reason not to make the most out of it. The only meaning in life is the meaning I give it. When things\\nstart to feel pointless, I just dig into the things that I gave meaning before, and just wade through hollowness. It is\\nbecause I have such strong habits, that I am able to be resilient. I have normally exited these bouts stronger than\\nbefore and knowing myself better.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"By this time in my life, I have acquired and broken many habits. However, nothing that I was doing was helping me sleep\\na bit better. Everything becomes \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"super\"), \" interesting right around the time I should be going to sleep. The most common\\nthing that I would tell myself is, \\\"I bust my back all day, I deserve 20 extra minutes of videos or another episode.\\\"\\nHowever, that would keep happening, and I would find myself putting the phone down at 21:30.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"The first thing that I would attempt to do, was set an alarm that tells me to put down the phone and start to get ready\\nfor bed. An important factor that I learned after the fact was: I needed to respect this alarm to go to sleep like I do\\nthe waking up alarm. Waking up in the morning was never a problem, in-fact I am almost always ready to go the moment the\\nalarm goes off. Which is another habit that needed to be controlled carefully. That shutdown alarm did not get the same\\nrespect as the wakeup alarm. Eventually it started to be ignored, causing a slip back into sleep my deprivation habits.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"There was nothing at the time that would get me to respect that alarm. I always felt like there needed to be more time\\nto relax. The thought of, \\\"I have an entire hour to wind down and get to sleep, I can get this to work\\\" did not help\\neither. As time passed, it was clear that something \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"I really did not want to do\"), \" needed to be done. That action was to\\nsacrifice the precious time devoted to work in return more time to wind down to sleep. Before I implemented my \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"drastic\"), \"\\nchange, I used to have 20 hours of dedicated focus time to accomplishing tasks during the weekday. This was the time\\nbetween, sleeping, working out, various overhead activities, and my day job. I protected those precious hours because\\nthat was the time I could be improving myself. Those 2 hours before and after work are where my goals where being\\nachieved. Changing that to 17.5 hours felt like a betrayal to my goals. The part of me that is driving me towards my\\ngoal, to becoming amazing, was strongly against that. It also just so happens that part of me is also very loud and\\nholds the majority control of my actions.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"However, another part of me realizes I am short-changing all my current efforts by not getting enough sleep. Getting\\nmore rest eventually won over. Instead of stopping the presses at 19:00, the new closing time is now 18:30. Starting\\nthis felt like it went against everything I had been doing all these years. I have even been spending money on\\noutsourcing work, like getting groceries, so I could dedicate even more time to advance my goals. All these negative\\nthoughts against this change where acknowledge and let go. This enabled me to move on with my life and take the steps\\nin the right direction. Since I could not overcome this by will-power alone, I needed to sacrifice part the very thing\\nwas causing me degrade.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"This gave me the respect I needed for my shutdown alarm. What was the point of giving up my precious time, if I was not\\ntaking the action to get to sleep sooner? Having overcome one of the habits that led to a poor sleep cycle, it was time\\nto tackle the next ones.\"), mdx(\"h3\", null, \"Respecting the Magic Brick\"), mdx(\"p\", null, mdx(\"strong\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"The smartphone\"), \" is an amazing tool at destroying any semblance of good nights sleep. I would browse the phone in bed\\nand leave it charging right next to me overnight. Every book that I had read about getting to sleep, stated that the\\nphone should live on the other side of the room or in another room. Again, these words where heard but not understood.\\nThis was because I was different, I am strong-willed, therefore I should be able to ignore my phone, put it down when\\nnecessary, or stop at anytime. You can probably guess, that that did not happen and nights where spent clinging to a\\nphone. Why does everything have to be so darn interesting before going to sleep?\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Another non-productive habit that formed in the same vein, was the need to constantly check email. If I woke up from a\\nsleep cycle, that was prime time to reach for the phone and check emails/notifications. An epiphany happened right after\\ncompleting a tough workout on a day that I was tired from a bad night sleep. I distinctly remember thinking, \\\"Why do I\\nneed to check my email overnight or on my phone at all? I am not going to do anything about the knowledge I got, or\\nrespond. So why do I keep doing it?\\\" There was not a good answer to that question. That was the night that the phone got\\nput on the far end of the room. The physical distance was enough for me to quickly put myself back into bounds. It only\\ntook me a really long time to put my ego aside and listen.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Now that my nocturnal email checking habit was starting to break, there was one last problem that needed to be broken.\\nWaking up at 04:00 and expecting to perform difficult tasks less than 10 minutes of waking up, can potentially lead to\\nbig sleeping issues. For me, it was I wanted to be ready to go as soon as possible, because I needed as much time to\\naccomplish the mammoth goals I set for myself.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"It was set in my head that everything should be timed by \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"sleep cycles\"), \", which are about 2 hour intervals where your\\nbrain patterns change while sleeping. If you are woken up in the middle of one, the rest of the day would feel like your\\nmind is in a fog. At least that is what I had at least convinced myself into believing. Therefore, it was my duty to not\\nfall back asleep if I woke up less than an hour from my alarm clock.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"You might be aware, but our brains are built with a \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"really\"), \" good internal clock. It is so good in fact, that it is a\\nbit scary. I adopted the \", mdx(\"a\", {\n    parentName: \"p\",\n    \"href\": \"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique\"\n  }, \"Pomodoro Technique\"), \" a long time ago. My\\nworking sets are 27 minutes, and the resting intervals are 3 minutes. When a rest interval comes up, I get up and take a\\nbreak, mostly looking out a window or something. Well, it has gotten to the point where I feel like there was enough of\\na break, and I could go back to what I was doing. By the time my rear hits is in the chair, the bell to start the next\\nworking set, rings. Almost as if I felt the passage of exactly 2 minutes and 45 seconds without actually keeping track.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"This also means that it applies to sleep durations as well. The amount of times that I have woken up 3-5, minutes before\\n04:00, gave even more merit to the concept of an internal clock. Combine waking up 5 minute before the alarm and not\\nwanting to fall back asleep in fear of breaking a sleep cycle, will result in getting a restless night sleep.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"I had a strong conviction that I \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"needed\"), \" to know what time it is during the night, because I might need to wake up\\nreally soon. That would be enough for me to crawl to the other side of the room, to check the phone for the time. It\\nwould also happen when I needed to make a late night pit-stop.\"), mdx(\"h3\", null, \"Wait, what time is it?\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"This has proved to be the most difficult habit to break. Going to bed, and waking up not knowing if I overslept is\\ndifficult. Thankfully, I do not own any clocks other than my phone, so nothing had to be given away. The only course of\\naction was to trust that the phone will go off when told so, and leave the rest to sleeping.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"When I would wake up in the middle of the night, I needed to resist the urge to check the phone to see the time. This\\nwas such a hard-wired habit too. Each time I woke up, I had to re-assure myself that knowing the time did not matter.\\nEven if it is 15 minutes to 04:00, if you get woken up you \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"will not\"), \" feel like death. There was no easy solution to\\novercoming this habit, in fact it went along with another habit.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"I would frequently find that during the time it took to take a leak, my mind would kick into overdrive. Obviously, I had\\njust woken up, therefore it means that I should start firing on all cylinders so that today's task can start. By the\\ntime I would get back into bed, my mind would be racing on trivial stuff that would prevent me from getting to sleep.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"This would happen almost everytime I needed to get up out of bed. Happening in tandem with weening myself off knowing\\nthe time after waking up. I had no good solution to this, because I would almost instantly start thinking about things\\nas soon as I got up. I wish there was a better solution to this. The way that I fixed this was, just hold it in and take\\ncare of it when 04:00 rolls around. It could wait until that unknown point in time is reached.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"Sleep is such a difficult task to work with. It is not available on-demand, the best that can be done is to set the\\nconditions for sleeping. Then hope that it eventually works. Being high-strung is the source of all my issues. I know\\nthis much because, when I relax sleep comes easy the next night. Saturdays are designated to be an active recovery day.\\nThere are no expectations to accomplish any great feats of will. Saturdays are dedicated to un-winding and avoiding\\nstimulus. Which makes the night between Saturday and Sunday, the only night where sleep lasts for more than seven hours.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"It is the combination of all these habits that result in getting a terrible night sleep. I need to keep looking out for\\nMorning Alex because, he needs to be in top shape. However, Last Night Alex wants to stay up and look at all the\\ninteresting things. Completely detaching from my phone and all of my habits that come with it was the cost. What was\\nlost in connectivity with the world became replaced with a clear head-space. That trade-off yields a higher life\\nsatisfaction overall.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"I wish I could say that all my sleeping problems have been solved. The reality is that I am moving in the right\\ndirection. I find the desire the know the time at night to be manageable. It still sometimes happens and I will figure\\nout hour of night. Though is not the end of the world, I still need to be mindful about regression. With time mostly\\nunder control, the alarm clock is really the only thing that pulls me from dreamland now days. To my surprise, even if I\\nget woken up by the alarm, my mind quickly gets to a clear and active state.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"While I am still working on managing all the poor sleeping habits. The reward so far has made it worth it, for the most\\npart. The best thing that has come out of this is that I can actually sleep-in on both nights of the weekend now.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"In the end, I had changed something that I had no direct control over. This was done by changing my habits that set my\\nenvironment. Unfortunately, I do not collect various performance metrics on my studies or work tasks. Meaning that there\\nare no numbers that can be pointed at as positive gain from this endeavour. Though I can speak to the fact my quality of\\nlife has gone up. There is no longer a feeling of being at the whims of the sleep fairy to get a full nights rest. I\\nstill have to hold any bathroom activities until the alarm goes off though. I am starting to notice that if I really\\nneed to get up, I can return to sleep faster.\"), mdx(\"p\", null, \"The giant pool of willpower and effort needed to fix my poor sleeping habits marks this as the greatest challenge I have\\nfaced so far. My biggest problem is, that I cannot relax or get comfortable. While it may be a side effect of neglect\\nduring my ultramarathon, it is something I \", mdx(\"em\", {\n    parentName: \"p\"\n  }, \"can\"), \" fix. I just have to be ever vigilant to set the right conditions, and\\nnot slide down the slope of regression. Thankfully, I have the confidence in knowing that the habits I form, once set,\\nare almost there to stay. I have the ability to change something that feels unchangeable.\"));\n}\n;\nMDXContent.isMDXComponent = true;","tableOfContents":{"items":[{"url":"#how-it-started","title":"How it started"},{"url":"#lying-to-myself","title":"Lying to myself"},{"url":"#breaking-the-habits","title":"Breaking the Habits","items":[{"items":[{"url":"#getting-to-sleep-on-time","title":"Getting to Sleep on Time"},{"url":"#respecting-the-magic-brick","title":"Respecting the Magic Brick"},{"url":"#wait-what-time-is-it","title":"Wait, what time is it?"}]}]}]},"parent":{"relativePath":"thestrugglebus/a_greatestchallenge.mdx"},"frontmatter":{"metaTitle":"Falling asleep is tough.","metaDescription":"This is the meta description"}},"allMdx":{"edges":[{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/","title":"The Ultramarathon"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/introduction","title":"But Why?"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/accomplishments","title":"Accomplishments"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/accomplishments/a_thecommunicator","title":"Good Word Speaker"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/accomplishments/b_machinelearning","title":"Maths Mountain"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/accomplishments/c_theperfecttheme","title":"The Perfect Theme"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/thestrugglebus","title":"Struggle Bus"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/thestrugglebus/a_greatestchallenge","title":"Greatest Challenge"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/thestrugglebus/biggestfear","title":"Greatest Fear"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/reflections","title":"Reflections"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/reflections/durationnotgood","title":"Time !== Merit"}}},{"node":{"fields":{"slug":"/nextchapter","title":"Next Chapter"}}}]}},"pageContext":{"id":"96ae30ef-7ef5-5636-8d16-bd85d23220a5"}},"staticQueryHashes":["2619113677","3706406642","417421954"]}